Monthly Archives: February 2009
When there isn’t a song in your heart…
Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway Emory Austin
Good morning! Oh the truth in Emory’s statement…. how I wish it wasn’t so! But it is true – we have natural “highs” and “lows” and some days there isn’t a song in our heart. So what we do on those days? How do we embrace life and be positive on the days when the “spark” just isn’t there? We do just as Emory suggests – we “sing anyway.” And we sing loud enough to wake up that spark.
One of the things cognitive therapy reveals is that when we consistently “act as if” we “become.” Sometimes we have to force a behavior in order to do it consistently enough to internalize it. On our “down days” it is more important than ever to en-gage in behaviors that fight the negativity in our minds and the sadness in our souls.
You don’t have to accept a mediocre day. You don’t have to accept a mediocre life. In fact, I en-courage you to accept nothing but the best. Sure, you will have days that start out “low.” Fight back. Sing. In any given moment you have the power to change your day. You have undoubtedly heard the quote “Fake it until you make it.” On those “low” days, shout out your affirmations. Write them over and over. Even if they don’t feel sincere, keep say-ing them. Our words have power, and they have the power to transform the mediocre into the mag-nificent.
Your Turn:
Draw the rooms of your life like an architect would draw a floor plan. In each “room” write down what potential you have and how you might grow.
Your Affirmation:
I have the power to transform the mediocre into the magnificent.
Continue reading
Championship…
“Life is a competition not with others, but with ourselves. We should seek each day to live stronger, better, truer lives; each day to master some weakness of yesterday; each day to repair a mistake; each day to surpass ourselves.” —David B. Haight
Good morning! During the last Olympics, my daughter and I talked a lot about what “being a Champion” means. When I read this quote, I felt it truly embraced what it means to be Champion in life. If each of us were to embrace this quote, how could we not feel good come nightfall?Few of us will ever compete in an arena such as the Olympics. However, each day we compete in the arena of life and self-improvement. If we embrace the teachings of today’s quote, a personal gold medal is within our reach.
Your Turn: Do one of the following today:
* live a stronger, better, truer life
* master some weakness of yesterday
* repair a mistake
* surpass yesterday
Your Affirmation: I become stronger everyday. Continue reading
Living today…
One must always maintain one’s connection to the past and yet ceaselessly pull away from it.
Gaston Bachelard
Good morning! In order to find true contentment and lasting joy we have to live in the present. If we become overly reflective of the past or overly concerned about the future, then we begin living in our minds versus the physical world. We must be present to what is actually happening this minute and our role in the here and now. Thoughts of yesterday or tomorrow pull us away from creating today.
Of course, this is easier said than done. The human mind is very good at worrying and anticipating obstacles. Statistically ninety-nine-percent of what we worry about never happens. Time spent worrying is wasted time we will never recover. Likewise, we are over-critical of past mistakes. Once an event has passed and more information is available, of course we can find something we should, could, or would have done differently. But we did not have additional information in the past. We cannot go back. We cannot do anything for yesterday’s mistakes, errors in judgment, hurts, or injustices. Why hold onto this pain? What will it give us? If the food in our refrigerator was to rot, do we keep it as a reminder to not be wasteful in the future? What good do either of these practices do besides sap our energy from living “in the now?”
When we are attentive today, we can work to apply new knowledge and leave less regrets to reflect upon moving forward. When we attentive today we create our future.
This quote inspires my realization of a healthy connection to both past and future, but beyond this connection, we must pull away from letting either past or future control daily life. We can learn from the past, but let’s now dwell in it. Let’s not focus and give the past energy to repeat itself in our present. Instead, let’s learn its lessons and apply them today. We can be “researchers” in our own lives, noting what has influenced us, made us happy, what we regret, and apply this research to maximize today.
Likewise, let us look forward to the future with passion, excitement, and expectation, knowing that by living “in the now” we can create the tomorrow we desire.
Your Turn:
Notice today how many times you spend reflecting in the past or worrying about the future. Consciously draw your attention back to “now;” the only place where we can create true change. Continue reading
Solving problems…
“It’s not that I’m so smart , it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” Albert Einstein
Good morning! I love that Einstein, one of the greatest minds offered this wisdom-filled quote. When I read it I immediately wondered if perhaps the definition of “smart” is: staying with a problem until the answer is found. Maybe many people who “look smart” don’t necessarily grasp things more quickly, but have persistence and perseverance.
Although I am far from Einstein, I could relate to this quote. Many people have asked how I have overcome certain obstacles or created certain processes. It certainly wasn’t a stroke of genius, brilliance or a light bulb flash above my head. I simply stayed with the problem longer. I believe every problem must have a solution. A personal commitment to discovering the solution is what makes the difference.
As we learn to problem solve, our problem-solving skills develop and become stronger. The only thought-pattern required to implementing positive problem-solving skills in your own life is a curious mind and the belief that each problem must have a solution.
Your Turn:
Work on increasing your problem-solving skills. Instead of shrinking away from a challenge or problem, realize that each challenge or problem does have a solution – become a detective with the aim of uncovering it. Some solutions can be discovered in a day, some may take months – but the solutions are there. Try writing down a problem you are facing. Then ask yourself questions to begin exploring solutions. Some questions you might try include: How did this problem come into being? Who do I know that might be able to give me ideas or strategies for solving this problem? What would the answer/solution look like? What steps are needed to get that answer or solution? What role did I play in the creation of this problem and if I reversed my actions/thought patterns, would that impact a solution? What are 5 crazy solutions I can dream up? (Brainstorming quick lists –no matter how outrageous– helps us become creative in our approach and solution focused).
Your Affirmation: For every challenge or problem, I know there is a solution. I also know that I can find it. Continue reading
Climbing past worry…
”Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles Schultz
Good morning! This quote by Snoopy Creator, Charles Schultz brings home two important points: (1) How quickly a day goes by and (2) How unhelpful it is to spend time worrying.
Worrying doesn’t feel good, it makes people anxious and stress-filled. So why do people worry? Worrying, like many negative emotion is a defense mechanism. We worry to protect ourselves from “what might happen.” We worry in order to avoid taking “the next step.” However, like many defense mechanisms, “worry” doesn’t protect us, instead it creates a wall that blocks off possibility. Worry invites us to be immobile, to stay still, and to wait “for a better time.”
Life isn’t lived behind a wall. Life is lived out in the wide-open when we take chances and chase down dreams. When we use worry as a wall in our world, we not only block out our fear of “what might happen,” but we also block out the good.
Studies have shown ninety-eight percent of what we worry about never happens. If we spend our time worrying we lose valuable time that could be spend on what we do want to happen in our lives.
Your Turn:
Where have you been using worry to hide from life? Take a step toward knocking down the wall of worry by choosing one area not to worry about. Direct your thoughts toward possibilities instead of limits. Break down the wall that worry builds to see how wonderful opportunity is on the other side.
Your Affirmation:
I climb over worry and into joy. Continue reading
What makes a strong woman?
“After being bombarded with images and ideas of what a woman should be, a strong woman is one who can look at herself in the mirror and say, “I prefer this.’” Doctoral student Erin Clair, as quoted in What Makes a Strong Woman? 101 Insights from Some Remarkable Women by Helene Lerner
Tammy, one of my readers, sent in this quote with a very powerful note. Tammy wrote:
I have been working on your programs and reading your Good Morning messages. Word cannot express my gratitude for the positive changes they are making in my life. I feel as if I am on the quest to remembering who I wanted to be when I grew up and who I want to be daily. At 36 I would have thought I would have a clue but, as with many women in our culture, life as mother and wife took over and consumed all that I had hoped to be. Thanks for the prompts that are assisting me along this journey. I truly appreciate it.
This was a powerful quote for me as I struggle daily to love the person I am right now instead of waiting to love myself when I morph into the incredible woman that lurks beneath the layers of life. As the mother of daughters it was also a powerful insight to a gift I hope to give them – that deep sense of self worth and self acceptance.
Tammy’s kind note summarizes a challenge many women can relate with. While devoting time to mothering children and the daily demands of life, women may lose sight of mothering their own dreams, desires and self-growth.
Through my work, I strive to help women meet the many commitments of life today without neglecting “self.” Learning to balance caring for others while still caring for our-selves will, in time, lead us to the place where like the quote, we can say: “I prefer this.”
Your Turn:
Take a moment to look in the mirror and affirm where you are today and the positive steps you have taken in your life. This weekend carve out a half-hour to focus on “you” and self-care.
Your Affirmation:
I am proud of who I am and who I am becoming. Continue reading
