I had an interesting conversation with a girlfriend the other day. She was telling me about this woman who “has it all.” My friend perceives this woman as having the perfect and caring husband; beautiful, talented and respectful children; a well-kept and beautiful home; and the woman herself is beautiful with a great attitude. The description concluded with an exclamation like: “I just hate her!” (said tongue-in-cheek).
I, of course, in my ever-understanding way, started laughing. She asked me what was so funny. I posed this question: “If this woman had an awful husband, ugly children, a shack, and a bad attitude–would that make YOUR life better?”
She asked me what that had to do with anything. I proceeded to ask her why she was spending so much time analyzing this woman’s life. What possible purpose did it serve? She explained that if this woman could “have it all” then certainly she could as well. “But what if this woman didn’t have it all?” I pressed on. “Would that mean you couldn’t have it all?”
I continued by explaining that whether this woman owned a llama farm or was the President’s wife, it truly had no bearing on my friend’s life. Further, each moment she spent looking at this woman and comparing their lives was taking her focus off where it needed to be–HER OWN LIFE. Whatever this woman’s life looks like is completely irrelevant to all of us. It doesn’t change our life one iota. The only thing that can change our lives is US. As Nana’s quote states, “Your life is what you make it,” — not what others make it.
Who do you compare yourself to and why? Ask what purpose those comparisons serve. My guess is they don’t build you up any. We rarely compare ourselves to those who have less to increase esteem, but women often compare themselves to those who have more and undermine their own esteem. Today, embrace the concept of looking at your own life, instead of the life of others. Don’t be distracted with the destructive thinking found in comparing yourself to another person–since you can never truly walk in his or her shoes.
Today, I only compare myself to the “me” I was yesterday.
And as always, don’t forget to start your day with a heartfelt: “Something great is going to happen today… I can’t wait to see what it is!”