Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you think of yourself less.-Ken Blanchard
Good morning! Have you ever noticed the natural human tendency to put ourselves in the “middle” or everything as a source or cause? For example, when someone doesn’t return a phone call, our thoughts often turn to, “Did I upset her?” or “Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to me.” Or if a co-worker seems to be having an off-day we may wonder, “Did I contribute?”
When we make the focus about “us” we can’t focus on another person in a healthy way. In these situations it is best to turn from our own ego and instead look at the situation or the person directly. Perhaps a call wasn’t returned because a child became sick, or the person went into a ditch in a snowstorm, or fell asleep while watching TV. Perhaps, it has nothing to do with us. Perhaps a co-worker learned of an ill-relative, or had a fight with a spouse. Usually it has nothing to do with us.
Your Turn: As you go throughout your day, watch for the tendency to put yourself as a “cause” or “reason.” When you find yourself doing so, remove the focus from yourself and instead ask thoughtful and inquisitive questions about the situation of concern. Remember that when we make the focus about “us” we can’t focus on another person in a healthy way.
Today’s Affirmation: I remain focused on the entire situation versus focused on myself.
I remember how awful I felt when I was upset at someone when they were going to do some repairs on my vehicle(I was planning a trip) and I did not hear from them,… to find out that they had had a heart attack.
I try to recollect that incident when my mind goes to that place of frustration.
I have found if I am having an off day, and let those around me know(I have learned to try to keep it simple) that it does not have to do with them, relationships tend to go smoother.
Sometimes when another is in a bad way, hard to tell if to back off or offer help. I try to ask if I can help, but only if I truly think I can. I really still am affected by broken promises(something I need to work on), and do not try to make and break them myself.