We don’t need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it. ~Donald Horban
Good morning! How much time and energy do you spend trying to attain something, whether emotionally or physically, which you believe you need in order to be happier, more fulfilled or make life easier? Common examples of where we get caught up in the “chase” include:
- Believing we need someone’s approval
- Believing the next “planner” will organize our lives (instead of organizing it ourselves)
- Believing that some better-than-botox cream will make us beautiful
- Believing that our child needs a specific brand item or toy to be happy
- Believing that we are responsible for “fixing” problems beyond our control
- Believing that we are responsible for someone else’s happiness
If I were to stockpile all the time and energy I have put into endeavors like these in the past, surely I could take the month of April off — and maybe May, too. How freeing it can be to realize that maybe we don’t “need” everything we think we do–instead, what we need to do is scale back on perceived needs.
Your Turn:
Create a list of things you have spent time and energy on that you felt you “needed.” What needs can you scale back on so that you can enjoy today more?
Today’s Affirmation: I hold onto healthy wants and beliefs and let the rest go.
This needs to be posted everywhere for everyone to read. Our society has gotten so caught up in things, the biggest house, the most fashionable clothing, the lastest thing-a-majig that what is really important has been lost in the shuffle for something that will get old, become outdated, etc.
This love affair with things has cost us a plenty. Just look at the kids in todays society that have been neglected in a pursuit of a bigger house, newer car, etc. when what they really need is direction and love and their parents attention.
Brook thank you so much for today’s “Good Morning quote” if we are not happy on the inside no amount of stuff – doesn’t matter if it’s material or emotional is not going to make us happy and fix us.
Raising two children in a 800 sq. foot home, I wanted the “BIG” house, got it yep a 2800 sq. foot home and it was like living in a curse. Our family was not happy, our finances were not happy and our marriage was not happy. Instead of staying in that house – we downsized and realized we were more than fine in the 800 sq. foot home, it’s society that tells us we need larger, bigger, more.
In the past I have always “needed” everyone to like me. It was hard for me to understand when someone just did not “get” me or like me as much as I felt they should! LOL It was exhausting! As I have gotten older, I have come to realize that not everyone is going to like me, and honestly why should I care? I love me! I think I am terrific!:) Looking back I know I wasted a lot of time and way too much energy on people that really had no bearing or matter in my life. I focus now on those that I have a real connection with whether they are family or friend. It still amazes me that people who are kin to me are some of the people that I do not connect with all that well! That was another struggle, but I have come to realize that just because someone is blood, does not mean you have to “like” being around them.
Another thing I have really struggled with emotionally is “needing” to be at a certain weight. I am still struggling with this one! I do not weigh what I did in high school! I am 20 years older with two children! If the scale says one thing I am happy and if it says another, I am miserable! I still weigh myself every day because I “need” to. I need to “scale” (pun intended!) back on weighing myself every day! It defines my day! I do exercise and eat well and that does make me happy and feel better about myself! I do not know if I will ever get back to the weight I have in my head that will make me happy, but I do not know how to stop “needing” to be there! That is my struggle to work on the most right now!
Today’s lesson was written for me! But what really struck me today was Melissa’s response, reading it was like someone (Melissa) had written about my life and my feelings. I’ve always wanted everyone to like and include me and if they didn’t I was upset.
It’s a tough lesson to learn that siblings may love each other but have nothing in common. I wanted that special relationship with my sisters, but my favorite sisters are not related to me. The bonds of friendship are terrific and I wouln’t trade them for anything. And those relationships are something I need!
I am really struggling with the “the next planner/website/magazine” will help me be more organized. I need to realize that doing instead of reading about doing will make me feel good about myself. I have a friend who can buy anything she wants and does. She redecorates her house every 2-3 years. I go on the redecorating excursions and really want to spend money and redo my house, too. We do not have the money to update at this time but I sometimes feel deprived. I struggle with being thankful for the things I have and that my home is paid for and we are not in debt. ‘Cuz I really want a new sofa, curtains, rug. I know that material things are not the things that make a house a home and am blessed with what I do have, but our materialistic society really makes it hard to be satisfied. If I were happier with my housekeeping skills, I might be happier with myself. Brooke, I thank you for your “Good Mornings” because it helps me focus on what is really important in my life and sometimes one resonates with me. Like the one today. Thank you!
As I have spent the last 3-4 years here with Brook, I started in Grief Steps, I have noticed a common thread. Everyone talks about meeting their goals and deadlines! Myself, I want extra free time, money and time for spontanaeity. I have the time, not the help, but most importantly the DESIRE. I am recreate my life without the hinderance of a spouse or children knowing a better way. Keep in mind that I am a widow (55) with 12d & 14s, before you compare this to your life. Our previous life was jammed packed with duties, deadlines and chores. I don’t know why I wasn’t insane. My goal…creating an organized life, and time to do anything in an instant.
Downsize, have only enough, and give the rest to those in need.
Hopefully, when I have accomplished my makeover, God will send me a new man to share this life!
My response to this one is from a little different angle. It’s not the pursuit of more schtuff or approval from others or a better physical appearance that has me enslaved. It’s a totally self-inflicted adhearance to the old Protestant Work Ethic.
I’m always caught in the viscious cyle of needing my house to be clean and my life in order and thus having worked hard I will then deserve to feel happy. It’s that old Protestant work ethic engrained to keep me feverishly working in order to enjoy. If I’m not operating at break-neck speed to attain this streamlined ‘perfect’ life I don’t deserve to take time to enjoy it.
This is felt accutely right now as I am preparing to go on vacation and trying not to repeat a mistake of the past which is to do a whole EHM makeover on my house before I leave so I can feel deserving of the break, but left too worn-out to enjoy it. I often get sick on my vacations because I’ve neglected self and worked tirelessly beforehand then litterally collapse. Trying to enjoy each day but would still love to have all those windows clean ahhhh!