Comparing yourself to others…

“Your life is what you make it.” Nana Messler

Good morning! I had an interesting conversation with a girlfriend the other day. She was telling me about this woman who “has it all.” My friend perceives this woman as having the perfect and caring husband; beautiful, talented and respectful children; a well-kept and beautiful home; and the woman herself is beautiful with a great attitude. The description concluded with an exclamation like: “I just hate her!” (said tongue-in-cheek).

In my ever-understanding way– started laughing. She asked me what was so funny. I posed this question: “If this woman had an awful husband, ugly children, a shack, and a bad attitude–would that make YOUR life better?”

She asked me what that had to do with anything. I proceeded to ask her why she was spending so much time analyzing this woman’s life. What possible purpose did it serve? She explained that if this woman could “have it all” then certainly she could as well. “But what if this woman didn’t have it all?” I pressed on. “Would that mean you couldn’t have it all?”

I continued by explaining that whether this woman owned a llama farm or was the President’s wife, it truly had no bearing on my friend’s life. Further, each moment she spent looking at this woman and comparing their lives was taking her focus off where it needed to be–HER OWN LIFE. Whatever this woman’s life looks like is completely irrelevant to all of us. It doesn’t change our life one iota. The only thing that can change our lives is US. As Nana’s quote states, “Your life is what you make it,” — not what others make it.

Your Turn:
Who do you compare yourself to and why? Ask what purpose those comparisons serve. My guess is they don’t build you up any. We rarely compare ourselves to those who have less to increase esteem, but women often compare themselves to those who have more and undermine their own esteem. Today, embrace the concept of looking at your own life, instead of the life of others. Don’t be distracted with the destructive thinking found in comparing yourself to another person–since you can never truly walk in his or her shoes.

Your Affirmation:

Today, I only compare myself to the “me” I was yesterday.


Comparing yourself to others… — 2 Comments

  1. I can’t say that I never compare myself to others, but I found it to futile long ago. However, I have two close friends that do this often, it is very frustrating; especially when you factor in what they perceive they lack is usually in direct response to something they shouldn’t have done in the first place and knew it! Kind of like crying over that spilt milk. They often refrain “Why me?” I think, “Why not.” God never gives more than you can bear, if don’t learn from you mistakes the first time your bound to repeat them. Secondly, we all know appearances can be deceiving. Walk a mile in that person who has it all and you might find they really don’t.

  2. Thank you for the timely and wonderfully stated reminder! I have been in a great mood the past couple of days after spending the past couple of weeks in a funk. I was trying to figure out what the difference was since it is certainly more fun to be in a great mood than in a funk. I wracked my brain during my morning walk – was it the phone calls I got on Easter, the lightened schedule, the temperature, my diet, etc, etc, etc. Just reading the headline for today’s message had me going “Aha”. I find my life just the right size when I compare my today self to the me of yesterday — every time.

    it is when I start comparing myself to others my life suddenly feels too tight or too slow or just plain wrong. How can an entire life be just plain wrong?

    Well, I’m not going to dwell any longer and risk being sucked back into that funk causing vortex of endless comparisons. I’m going to continue enjoying my good mood with the knowledge that I’m growing and improving every day in every way. And that life right feels exactly right.

    Thanks so much!!


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