“To be always doubting your ability to get what you long for
is like trying to reach east by traveling west.”
Good morning! I am convinced that one of the most common places we practice reverse psychology is on our selves! In the past week, I was taking notes and here are some examples:
1. The smoker who wants to quit and details her quitting plan while smoking a cigarette.
2. The woman who says she wants true love in her life, but stays in an unfulfilling relationship.
3. The professional who wants to reach the top, but then watches the clock and never works a minute over 40 hours.
4. The parent that wants better communication with their children, but doesn’t have time to talk.
5. The artist whom feels a need to express herself, but doesn’t carve out time for creativity.
I am sure you can add some to this list!
How silly we are to live these contradictions in our life and then wonder, “what is bothering us” or “why do we feel unfulfilled?”
While I typically am more subtle in my views of the world, this is one area where subtleness is not my forte. The reason any of the above people would be “bothered” or “unfulfilled” is they have a clear knowledge of what they want, exactly what they need, yet do not take steps forward in making it a reality. In fact, in the common examples I offer, each person is directly contradicting her desires.
I am not saying I haven’t done this a time or two (or a million)! I can think of an area or two right now where my actions are in conflict with my desire. But what I don’t do is fool myself. I don’t make the problem someone else’s or blame it on an unjust world or sum it up as bad timing. I know exactly what the problem is – I am not taking actions steps that align with my desires. And I know there is only one way to fix it. Either scrap the desire, (impossible with a true, core desire) or fix the action steps.
If I didn’t fix the action steps, I would be a living example of today’s quote – always traveling east while trying to get west or vice versa. Of course, I suppose if I traveled east long enough, I would eventually end up in the west – but what a bumpy, long and indirect trip — and what a waste of time!
Turn the spotlight on your life. What true desire do you have where your actions directly contradict the desire? Who do you blame? What do you “chalk” it up to? How long has this been happening in your life? Can you see the freedom that comes from owning the responsibility and righting your action? Decide whether you have outgrown the desire or if your action steps need allignment. Then adjust accordingly.
I own all of my problems.
I own all of my solutions.