Who owns your problems?

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”-Albert Ellis

Good morning! One of the most freeing moments in my life was when I truly understood that every problem in my life was just that: my problem. While others might play a part in it, the problem couldn’t exist or be my problem if I wasn’t involved! It sounds quite simple, but we so often blame our problems on everyone else-or some circumstance beyond our control. We often do this when our problems are big and scary, as we don’t know how to face them. The great news is that when we take ownership of a problem, we also inherit the power to problem-solve. Instead of waiting at someone else’s mercy to fix things, we can take control and fix things ourselves.

 Your Turn: Are you taking responsibility for the problems in your life, or are you still blaming them on others and waiting for a magic solution? Manmade solutions will make you stronger than magic solutions. Choose a problem and take ownership of it. Then, begin to brainstorm how you can move forward. And don’t just brainstorm: act. If you need help, do this in a group to explore new ways of seeing the problem, fresh ideas, etc. Odds are, everyone has a problem or two that could benefit from a fresh point of view.

Today’s Affirmation: I am a professional problem-solver.


Who owns your problems? — 4 Comments

  1. Good Morning, Brooke,
    I found your Good Morning inspirational message today to really hit the spot for my particular situation. I am going through a divorce after 13 years of physical and mental abuse. My future ex-husband feels that it was all my fault. I do have to share that responsibility with him because I allowed it go on for so long. I have now taken control of the situation and have put an end to this destructive behavior, especially on my part. I sent him a copy of today’s inspirational message and I pray he understands it and that it helps him as much as it did me.

  2. Thanks so much for sharing Shelley and congratulation to you for taking control of the problem instead of perpetually pondering. I thinking owning life’s biggest problems is one of our biggest challenges because it calls on inner strength– and sometimes, especially in an abusive situation, we may not believe that inner strength is strong enough. But you are a living example that indeed it is.

  3. Thank you for this Good Morning message Brook! For the past several months I have been taking ownership of my problems, regardless of where the problem stemmed from. I have gotten out of a destructive relationship with someone who blamed everyone and everything for any problem. I am so grateful to have had this relationship in my life as it was an eye-opener and lesson for me in learning to take ownership of my problems.

    I have always taught my two boys to learn by example, whether it may be to “learn by example” of those they admire and respect, or “learn how not to be” when they do not like behaviors in others. I have had to walk my talk with taking ownership of my own problems. I realized that I was just as guilty as the people I saw of blaming other circumstances for situations/problems in their life.

    I feel much more free and in control, although it is a daily process. Thanks Brook, this really hit home and a great reminder of how I am changing my thought pattern to have a healthier life.

  4. I SO needed this message today.
    Right now I am going through a lot of post-divorce stuff. I was also married to an abusive man. We’ve been divorced for 2 years now but as we have joint custody of our 2 sons, we still have to deal with each other. An incident occurred recently that has thrown me for a loop. I am desperately trying to find the strength to deal with things. Being reminded that I must take responsibility for things in my past also reminds me that I CAN take control and find solutions to these problems.
    Thank you for the message, Brook. I hope you are doing well and that things clear up in your area very soon.

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